What We Hide, Behind Our Smiles
by dragonslayer437
Summary: The tales of the darkness that the cheerful Fairy Tail members keep hidden, ranging from cruel pasts, over-whelming loneliness, and tearful regrets. -WARNING. THIS WILL HAVE LOTS OF FEELS.- Newest chapter: Bickslow.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, im dragonslayer437 ^_^ just call me Dragon :)

Since I used to have depression a while back, I decided to do this fic. It just kinda sparked the idea. This is going to be a series of drabbles, tales of the sorrows that lurk within every fairytail member's heart.

The order it will be in:

( [x]=finished []=unfinished\not uploaded)

Gray Fullbuster [X]

Natsu Dragoneel[X]

Lucy Heartfilia[X]

Erza Scarlet[X]

Mirajane Strauss[X]

Lissana Strauss[X]

Elfman Strauss[X]

Bickslow[X]

Evergreen[]

Freed Justine[]

Laxus Dreyar[]

Cana Alberona[]

Loke (yes, he's still a fairy tail member -_-)[]

Levy Mcgarden[]

Gajeel Redfox[]

Mystogan[]

Okay. Have fun reading the next few chapters when they're up :D


	2. Gray Fullbuster

Damn the world.

Damn it all.

Whats the point of life anymore? I've lost everything I've ever known. My mother, my father, even the woman who comforted me afterwards and taught me what I know today.

Nothing seems fun. Its all monochrome.

The guild brought small spark of happiness that died out soon after. After I realized nobody there could ever understand my pain.

I just want to stop crying every night, the regret, the loss, the emptiness...I want to tell someone, anyone, but I can't. They know of my past, so I don't get why its so hard to talk about.

Natsu would never be of help. He's Natsu. He wouldn't understand.

Erza is just...not the kind who can easily be spoken too. She'd understand how I feel, but...you know what I mean, dont you?

Lucy...just isn't the understanding or sympathetic type in my view. It seems like I might just be pushing everyone away.

That "hope for the future" thing is a lie.

My life is a lie.

I wish for it to end.

Permanently. 


	3. Natsu Dragoneel

"Igneel! Please! I miss you!"

I repeat this phrase in my head every single night before I go to sleep.

Where did he go...what happened to my father?

Do you know where he is?

Sorry to bother you, I shouldn't have asked.

All my family is gone, I don't know who my mother is.

I don't know how I got alone, or how I got so angry like this. Usually I take it out on Gray... because he's the only one I know I can beat.

It makes me feel good about myself when I win, and my self-esteem drops 2000 feet when I lose. But he doesn't know that.

Only Happy knows, because he's my best friend. I can tell him anything...

Well, almost everything.

Some things just aren't meant to be spoken of.

Why did this happen to me?  



	4. Lucy Heartfilia

"What is real, true love?"

I never knew.

My father ignored me, my mother was dead.

I was obsessed with magic.

It seemed so amazing, the beauty of the shining light when you cast a spell. The sparkles that it gives off when the magic finishes...

It was so pretty.

It lead me to a guild, aftyer being saved by one of its members.

That guild was Fairy Tail.

I began to feel like I fit in just right. I made new friends, and everything was perfect!

But the past still haunted me.

Nightmares, flashbacks, they wouldn't leave me alone.

Im so sorry, father, mother.

Maybe im not what you wanted...

Is that why you left?

Is that why you're gone?

I miss you... 


	5. Erza Scarlet

I am Erza.

Erza, just plain Erza.

It used to be that, but then someone...someone special gave me a real name.

Erza Scarlet.

My hair is scarlet.

That someone was Jellal.

Jellal isn't Jellal anymore.

Everything just seems so complicated between us...what happened to him, really? He used to be so bright, kind, and...

Well...

I don't know anymore.

I wish the old Jellal would come back.

I will not bow. I will not break...I tell myself these things all the time.

"Don't cave in. Don't give up. Don't break..."

What's the point when i'm already broken?

I sealed my heart in armor...

and cried. 


	6. Mirajane Strauss

A bright and happy smile.

Thats me.

That's my image.

I act so happy infront of everyone, but it's simply a mask to hide the tears. My little sister was dragged away from me, I believed she was gone forever.

Then she came back.

Kami-sama(1) must have a sick sense of humor, thats all it makes me think.

My siblings mean the world to me. They're worth more than the entire guild.

Losing them would be the same as dying.

1.A japanese word referring to God.  



	7. Lissana Strauss

I have four siblings.

Mira-nii and Elf-nii-chan here in earthland.

And, Mira-nii and Elf-nii-chan who are still suffering in Edolas.

I don't know what to do.

Lissana in Edolas is dead, she died many years ago. Mira-nii and Elf-nii-chan in Edolas must miss her, very much.

I don't want them to suffer.

It's my fault.

I had to leave them.

Mira-nii, Elf-nii-chan...

Please forgive me.  



	8. Elfman Strauss

"Be a man!"

It's all I've ever known.

That one sentance.

I want to stay strong for my sisters...

I'm afraid of not being good enough for them.

I'm afraid of losing them.

While Lissana was gone, I vowed never to use beast soul again...

And that I would protect Mirajane with everything I had.

But now Lissana's back.

What kind of cruel joke was that?

Steal her away, leave Mira-nii and I believing she was gone for good...

And then bring her back, perfectly unharmed.

...Why? 


	9. Bickslow

Laxus, Ever and Freed are better off without me.

I'm the guild's joke...

No. I'm the town's joke.

I'm inferior to everyone in the guild...and I'm only a drag on the Raijinshuu.

My strength is only an illusion of my magic.

I was abandoned by my "family".

I'm a freak.

There isn't much more to say.

What do I need to change? What's wrong with me?

Why do you look at me like that?

I want to know...


End file.
